Reply to People tell me being weird is a great thing, but I find it isolating

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm actually teaching my kids the opposite. It's important to form connections with people, and fitting in is part of that. Good manners are ways to make other people feel comfortable. Societal norms are how we avoid anarchy. Flouting this is not a good thing.

If you have a disability such as autism, then people should make allowances for that. There are also resources to help you. You could join groups for people with autism and form connections.

Bucking society at large is generally some form of disability/mental illness. You can also do some odd things privately, as long as there's no moral or legal issue at hand. You don't need to broadcast every part of your life. But if you're running into frequent problems, then you need professional help. You'll likely be much happier once you get your diagnosis and get help for how to manage it.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Isolation is terrible. I hope it gets better for you.
[/quote]

^ a good example of why being different is so isolating. People are convinced it's something you are doing on purpose just to annoy them, instead of just a natural part of your personality.

I don't know how to "be normal." I have tried and tried. There was a time in my 20s/30s where I actually got very good at masking my weirdness and could pass as normal at work and with casual acquaintances. This was a very isolating time because as soon as people got to know me any better than surface level, they would either reject me or become overly interested in my "weirdness." It was very hard to find people who just accepted me for who I am -- they either wanted me to be the normal person I presented myself as, or they seemed to fetishize the ways in which I'm different and its was very othering.

At the heart of my weirdness is that I was neglected as a child and sort of "raised myself" which means there are just a lot of touchstones of life that I think are normal to others but are totally foreign to me. A lot of what I learned about society and relationships came from reading extensively and absorbing a lot of info, or observing people as an adult and copying what they were doing. But again, this only gets you surface level normalness. Underneath that, I'll always be weird. And people like PP will always be irritated and think it's something I'm doing for attention.[/quote]

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