Reply to People married to jerks end up kind of jerks themselves

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - What do you think causes this? The meanness is just normalized? Or the nice one gets bitter/lonely/jealous of others?[/quote]

DP. I think it's both, and I also think that spending a lot of time with someone who is very negative and nasty likely means that you absorb a lot of that negativity. Even if they aren't mean directly to you, they surely spew their nastiness and negativity around you more than anyone else. I think about how when my DH (who is not a jerk at all but has bad days like anyone else) is in a really bad mood, I sometimes have to consciously remove myself from his presence to keep it from affecting me. Or draw a clear boundary where I'll listen to him complain about work but will then gently change the subject to something more pleasant after a bit because I don't want to focus on something so negative for more than an hour or so.

But if your spouse is like that all the time, every day, I think it's probably hard to get away from and eventually changes your outlook. [/quote]

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