Reply to Does your elderly parent talk down to you and treat you like an idiot?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I can get distance from it, I can appreciate that my mother is in the very beginning stages of dementia, and maybe that is why she is constantly picking fights with me.  This kind of behavior is dredging up all kinds of feelings about how she has been manipulating me for years.  And how she has been critical and difficult and childish and completely inappropriate with me (ranting about my father since I was ten years old).  Still ranting about my father.  It's really hard.

Only raising my own kids and getting my own therapy has shed light on how messed up some of this stuff was and is.  But now she and my dad need me in a way they never have before.  There is no hope for a reckoning where I explain my feelings and she listens and takes responsibility.  It is all on me to hold it together and take the emotional abuse.  Exhausting.  [/quote]

I relate to this so much and I suggest if they have money for it you hire a middleman-geriatric social worker/case manager/aging expert to coordinate care and check on them. You can look out for them and not allow abuse this way. My mother behaves better for strangers. Then when you visit you simply make an excuse to exit the second abuse starts. I think it's important to teach our kids that even family cannot abuse us. Whether it's an aging brain/alcohol/mental health issues or something else abuse isn't OK and we distance.[/quote]

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