Reply to Teen daughter - how would you respond? “She’s striking.”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Even if she's not, I would say, "Absolutely!" You're her mom. What's wrong with you? Also,[b] "beautiful in an unexpected way?" tf[/b][/quote]

OP means "exotic", except somewhere along the way she's heard that it's offensive to give POC "compliments" like that.

OP, was your daughter asking whether you thought she was pretty, or was she pointing out you would never compliment a white girl that way?[/quote]

I disagree that “striking” is associated with racial characteristics.  I think it refers to looks that are dramatic in some manner, which might have nothing at all to do with race or a person’s general coloring.

For OP, I’d explain that there are different types of beauty, with none being superior to the others.  Explain why you thought the original girl was striking and maybe look at different pictures and discuss which ones you think are striking and why, which ones you think are beautiful and why.  You may not always agree.  Beauty is subjective and standards on how it’s defined change with cultures, although symmetry is generally a component.  Most importantly, assure your daughter that you think she is beautiful. You can talk about how her beauty might be described.

For example:
Angelina Jolie I would describe as striking, but I wouldn’t consider Jennifer Aniston striking, yet both are beautiful.  Farrah Fawcett I think was striking in a way that Jaclyn Smith wasn’t, but they’re both beautiful. I think Amanda Seyfried is striking because of her eyes, while I wouldn’t describe Reese Witherspoon that way, they’re both beautiful women.

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