Reply to I don't like my friend's husband but we are "family friends"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. The husband is not rude to my friend, from what I've seen. I think he can be a bit curt generally and I know they sometimes have issues reconciling their careers (he has the "big" career and I know that can cause some friction when there are time conflicts or parenting conflicts). But he's not condescending to her the way he often is with other people, including me.

The thing with the favors is frustrating because I truly do not mind doing this stuff, and also my friend does it for me. But when I interact with my friend over this stuff (watching each others kids during random days of school, loaning items for a dinner party, carpooling from activities, etc.) we have the same manners -- we always ask if the other person can do it (never presume) and we say thank you. He doesn't get this. So like I'll arrange with my friend to take their oldest for a school holiday so they can work, but then he'll be the one to pick their kid up and he won't even acknowledge that I literally just took care of his kid all day for free. No thank you, nothing. Once I did this and he asked how it went and I said "great, they play so well together that I was even able to get a few things done around the house" and he said "oh I guess I assumed you guys would do an outing or a craft or something." Like my free babysitting wasn't enriching enough? My friend would never say that, she would have said she was glad it went smoothly and the kids were good, and thanked me for being the one to take the kids this time. It's not a huge deal but it's also not the kind of thing I enjoy dealing with over and over -- if it were just him I would simply not do these things because he's rude about it.

But she's great and he's not, and I guess I have to decide if I'm willing to take the bad with the good. My DH feels the same way about him as I do, and he also really likes my friend. But I think the husband doesn't bother him as much whereas he really gets under my skin. I try to just have DH deal with him more since I find him so irritating, but it doesn't always work out that way. I don't know. I guess I'm mostly just complaining. I don't want to give up this friendship of this, it's just a bummer.[/quote]

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