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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always fantasize how I'd give my money away to family.  How much would I give to siblings/parents?  Cousins?  Cousins kids?  DH is from a poor town in Appalachia.  I would start 529 plans for all of their kids and even allow them to use the money for their own educations.  I would give each family $500k to buy a house/pay off theirs and get new cars or do whatever.  [b]They have to promise not to mooch any more.[/b]  I'd give parents and siblings $10M each.  I'd want to stay in my current house but may quit my job.  I don't know what I'd do all day though.  [/quote]

I specifically don't fantasize about this because I know the bolded is unrealistic. DH and I have had conversations about how careful we will have to be if we ever come into serious money because while we are willing to help his brother with some things, the risk of him coming 100% dependent on us, and then angry at us for setting boundaries, is so, so high. It's what has happened with DH's parents. BIL has a personality disorder and very quickly becomes abusive. But also since he has a personality disorder, he needs money and struggles to be financially independent. It's such a catch-22. I wish we could tell him -- here's 500k, please use it to set yourself up well for the future but no more money-- and have faith he wouldn't be back in a year telling us we were terrible people for only giving him that much and how selfish and greedy we are and how his parents always loved DH best and we don't do enough for him.

So I try to avoid thinking about how I'd used the money to help family because I think this would be the messiest and most stress-inducing aspect of having a lot of money for us. Even though it should just be a joy.[/quote]

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