Reply to How important is it to attend grandmother’s 70th birthday?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Classic lose-lose scenario for MIL.

She asks you to come, you'll be furious at her gall for DEMANDING YOU FLY OUT THERE AND UPEND YOUR FAMILY'S SCHEDULE.

She doesn't ask you to come, and you're offended that SHE DOES NOT SEEM TO WANT YOU THERE WITH THE PRECIOUS GRANDKIDS.

Sigh.
[/quote]

OP here. I don’t think it is lose lose. I drag all my kids to visit my parents on regular birthdays. Occasionally one kid has something important and may stay behind with DH but I would take the other kids. For my parents, seeing the grandchildren is the gift.

MIL is happy enough for both her kids to fly home to visit her. They rarely do.[/quote]

The way you phrase this suggests that she should want to be with her grandchildren more, and it's fair for you to feel that way. But moving on from the judgement, an adult party sounds like the perfect time for her to get the gift of seeing her two kids. I'm sure you've read tons of posts from MILs who just want some one-on-one time with her son. Well, your MIL may take that feeling to the extreme, but at least in this case I think you can embrace it. I agree that you can send flowers and celebrate her from afar.[/quote]

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