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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My stepdad sexually abused me from age 12 to age 17.  My brother maintains a relationship with my mother and stepdad. My brother has 3 daughters.

Two years ago, I shared with my brother the details of the sexual abuse committed by my stepdad so he could protect his children.

I recently learned that two weeks ago, my brother and his wife took their kids to visit my parents and spent the weekend there, spending the night in my parent’s house.

I want to ask them what measures they take to keep their kids safe, but I am afraid that even raising the question might alienate them. Is there a way to ask this question without starting a huge kerfuffle?[/quote]

How did your brother respond when you disclosed the abuse to him? You said that he maintains a relationship with them, which implies that you do not. How old are the daughters in question?[/quote]

Op here. He was very bothered by what I shared and he said he believed me. His kids range from age 2-9.[/quote]

I think it is worth sharing with him that you were concerned when you heard that they'd stayed overnight at your parents' house. Maybe he hasn't been concerned thus far because his kids have been younger, but they are now approaching the age you were when the abuse began, which would scare the hell out of me in your shoes. It's also worth considering that if he's maintained a somewhat normal relationship with them for the last 2 years, his guard is down about the threat. It's worth asking if they are doing anything differently now that their oldest daughter is approaching puberty. [/quote]

Op here. I want to raise it but my concern is  how to ask this question without putting my brother and SIL on the defensive. I assume they must take steps to keep their kids safe but I don’t know what those steps are.[/quote]

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