Reply to parenting plan - what you wish you had included or really great provisions that you wish you had included

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I don't think you can ban the other parent from taking the child to religious things on their parenting time OP.

[b]I'm very happy that we included Right of First Refusal. Ours starts at 4 hours-basically if the parent who has parenting time cannot care for the child for 4 hours or more, they must first offer parenting time to the other parent before getting other care (in school time is not included in this).[/b] Also our order specifies that parenting time is between the biological parents.

Really spelling things out like holidays, vacations, out of state notifications, future cell phone plans, orthodontics (mine says split cost whether needed or cosmetic, although our dc's is needed), passports, schooling, child contact with parents,  all the things, has been useful for us.

I suggest googling the Florida parenting plan. It's very thorough and will give you ideas of what to put in yours.[/quote]

NP here
Does it cover parties/time with friends?  If your kid's friend has a sleep over party from 6 pm-9 am and you are fine with your kid attending (and obviously you would not be there) can your ex contest this?[/quote]

PP here. We have not had this issue raised, but based on my reading of our plan-Yes, I believe the other parent could. Ours specifies that parenting time applies only to the biological parents. On one hand, it may let ex prevent dc from a sleepover that I approve of. On the other hand, I could prevent dc from a sleepover that I do not approve of. [/quote]

DP. I think the right of first refusal needs to be more carefully crafted so it doesn’t hurt the child. It’s mainly important for a younger child if you think they are going to be regularly sent to a babysitter or daycare and you want to maximize every second with them. When they get older this isn’t as big a deal. I started out trying to craft a very restrictive ROFR but I dropped it after I realized I was really fighting against something imaginary (a scenario where my stbx immediately got a GF and started leaving our kid with her). I didn’t want the agreement to interfere with normal and health kid things, like DS spending the weekend with his cousins. At the end of the day I felt I had negotiated an overall custody plan I was happy with and didn’t need to micromanage ROFR. But DS is 10 - if he had been a baby I probably would have felt differently.

You could also try customizing ROFR to apply only to paid care, so that it won’t interfere with friend sleepovers, etc.

The things I am glad we included have to do with safety - no guns, smoke alarms required, seatbelts. That’s because stbx is a big dummy about them. [/quote]

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