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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Was he like this before, but it was at work and you didn't notice?

I have a husband who goes through phases of being taciturn and chatty. He also has very little self-awareness and tends to get angry and mean when I point these things out. His father was diagnosed bipolar, and I've wondered whether he has a subclinical, super mild version of it.

Maybe in your husband's case it's dementia?
[/quote]

OP here:  Interesting. My husband protects himself from any feedback or criticism by throwing everything back on me. I pay a price if I attempt a constructive conversation with him. He gets angry and mean and storms out the door. Even while raising kids he did not engage in any of those many tough parenting moments. I guess he is the classic example of an adult child of alcoholic, and cannot handle anything that he sees as conflict. He gets very mean. This morning he got triggered and ended up out the door with his typical disgust and went to mass. Based on my experience, this is typical Catholic behavior.
My husband definitely does not have dementia and functions at a very high-level in his work life. I believe it is anxiety and it has always been there. But don’t we all have anxiety?  He acts out and I need him to stop. [/quote]

DP. Mine is not the adult child of alcoholics, but the not handling any conflict and not brooking any criticism rings extremely true. And Catholic to boot. He's exhausting and in hindsight I wish I would have left him a very long time ago.

I don't think my husband knows how much I am really just tolerating him. He wants to retire somewhere that I don't want to live. I'm hoping we downsize to two different places and live separate for a good deal of time. We do all right in small spurts. I don't have the energy to get him to want to make a change anymore. I don't want to divorce, however.[/quote]

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