Reply to Medical Aid In Dying. Actual experience?

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[quote=Anonymous]Hello. While many here frequently mention choosing medical aid in dying as an end of life option, I wonder if any here have had the experience as a family member of a loved one exercising this option, and could share what it was like, what you wish you had done to prepare, etc.

At the moment I’m in southwestern state where MAID is allowed, with a much loved 91 year old family member. In January, after beating what was expected to be terminal prostrate cancer, FIL fell, which cascaded into other issues and resulted in him being in and out of hospital and rehab for two months. He returned home and was adamant that was where he wanted to remain, something we fully appreciated. I should add, mentally he was still all there, a brilliant former scientist’s mind in a body that was just failing him. Ambulatory but very frail. My husband ended up staying into May helping him to be able to make that happen, with home aides coming in several days a week for a few hours, home modifications, etc. FIL had daily visits from his long time companion and over the summer had many longer visits from far away family loved ones. My husband would go out every few weeks for a week or three to check on him.  Other than medical appointments, FIL was able to be in a home he loved, eating the food he liked (he was still preparing simple meals — thank you Trader Joe’s), seeing loved ones, and spending time reading and listening to music. Then, this past Sunday, thankfully while my husband was visiting, his health took a sudden turn for the worse. Couldn’t get out of bed alone and experiencing a great deal of pain. Every day his body function has diminished. He saw his doctors and took the decision to enter at-home hospice care, but also MAID which is scheduled a few days from now.

I flew out yesterday to support DH. Our adult kids have FaceTimed and sent messages of how much he has meant to them, as have others (we’re a far flung family, with no one living here.) I’m crying writing this all now, realizing I need to write something down otherwise I will not be able to adequately express myself to him. It’s intense. This is my first death where I’ll be present. So, words of advice? For example, what do you do after? Where did you go?

Thanks. [/quote]

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