Reply to What does it mean if I'm tempted to do something extreme to try to get dh to pay attention?

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Reply to "What does it mean if I'm tempted to do something extreme to try to get dh to pay attention?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't even mean having an affair. 
I've been working so hard for so long and navigating health problems including cancer last year, colitis, a SN kid, and am exhausted, burned out beyond belief. I keep trying to get dh to engage in taking actions to help me take the gas off the pedal but he only pays lip service - eg if I say we need to move to lower COL area he says 'fine' but does nothing to help, and I am back to back for 10-12h per day so can be hard to make traction. [b]I tried to engage him recently in a choice of new jobs for me and it was like pulling teeth.[/b] I have said to him - I am about to shatter into a million pieces pls help me figure out how to not do that and he just... doesn't care.

A huge part of me is tempted to just quit my job for a year and completely leave it to him to figure out how to deal for once. Or SOMETHING. I feel like I am screaming and no one is listening. 
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WTHeck does the bold even mean?  I get that you are overwhelmed and need to reconfigure, but asking the bold feels like asking for the wrong thing from your DH.

Your career is your life and your DH should only be involved with if to the extent that you are keeping him up to date with changes that affect the marriage/parenting -- decreases in income, significant changes in commute, decreased amount of time for parenting, impactful changes to benefits like health insurance - otherwise, your career is yours to figure out.

TBH, you need an individual therapist. And I don't say that in the sense of "there is something wrong with you, you need help". You have gone thru a lot of serious health care and child SN stresses and you really need a professional to talk to.  Your DH simply isn't qualified to help you, and turning to him is only making you feel worse.

It's a different thing to sit down - in a Fair Play kind of way - and say, I am overwhelmed and unable to continue like this so we need to re-apportion parenting, relationship and household tasks. Here's the list of what I'm doing, what tasks can you commit to taking over?

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