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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is pretty common. Their world becomes so small. All you can do is suggest ways to get more involved in the community. If you are concerned dementia is setting in and they won't get evaluated you could mention to GP, but nothing you said indicates they wouldn't pass dementia screen. My parents were passing it when they were much more clearly losing it. I actually think it misses early dementia and catches it more toward middle stage.

Another option is you become worried about independent living is to get a social worker checking on them, and that person can gently encourage activities. My mother was isolating, watching news nonstop and quite paranoid and the social worker wasn't concerned . Mom could turn it on for her. It wasn't until mom repeatedly through tantrums at me to the point I backed away due to my own serious health issues that the shit hit the fan. Suddenly mom needed a new outlet for rage.

Social worker convinced her to get evaluated-no idea result because mom blocked me from knowing, but I know she got on meds because she took the right in front of me. She seemed to think they were very mild to take edge off. Glad the doctor used a therapeutic lie because she desperately needed meds.  She was put on full dose of anti-anxiety and small dose of anti-psychotics.[/quote]

I'm impressed your mother was persuaded to try meds. Lots of good advice in this post, OP.[/quote]

OP here. Yes, is very helpful. My mother has always been extremely anxious and refused to seek help. It was everyone else, everything else, but never her personal (mental health) issue. I can see a tantrum on the way with her constant warnings about how awful the world is and I need to jump on the bandwagon with her. Yes, she is very isolated but I do feel it's by choice. Her own mother did this to her and expected her to sit with her all day in her livingroom while she complained about life or worse, berated her. I do think my parents would greatly benefit from living in a good 55+ community with plenty of peers and activities. They are unhappy, but they refuse to move. I'm not even suggesting they up and leave the state if they don't want to. Just invite a change of scenery and opportunity to take on something positive and new for themselves. [/quote]

My mom reached a stage of life where "complaining about everything" was her main form of recreation. She was in assisted living, and she spent a good deal of time complaining to me about the nurses, the food, the other residents, etc. After she passed away I found out she'd been keeping a multi-year journal with all her daily grumbles in it. She kept bugging me to move her to a different facility without all the "problems" that bothered her, but I knew that if I did, the complaints would just start up again.

So, I'm sorry to say, don't expect being in a 55+ community to shut down the anxiety and complaints.

I pretty much felt that it was my duty to listen to her complain and be as patient as I could. [/quote]

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