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[quote=Anonymous]SEL related question: around what age do kids start forming closer bonds and have their own friends, in contrast to playing with their parents friends kids?

My 4th grader son seems to have surface friendships that don't go deeper than shared sports interests (on the same team, or plays  same activities during recess).  He names different kids he likes every time I ask who he likes to spent time with, or have things in common.  He also doesn't get called on for playdates but is mostly social and funny.  I am good friends with some of the parents and used to set them up with their kids.  But he's getting older and I stopped after realizing a) behaviors were not great (kids arguing, not sharing, in opposite parts of the basement doing different things, etc.), b) these play date ideas have become one-sided efforts with me trying to help him foster friendships that fail to take root.

I can't shake the feeling that my kid likeable but maybe "off" and that he's being excluded.  Do 4th graders initiate playdates and have deeper friendships? He seems like he would like to but doesn't initiate talking to his friends about playing outside of school.    [/quote]

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