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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have one kid that is praised on high at conferences.  It started in preschool, “He is my go to kid. Whenever I need an answer or need someone to do something I ask x.” Honestly, his teachers have always LOVED him.  I do too- he is a great kid.

And then I have one who struggles and conferences are like “He’s funny and likes to tells jokes.”  And he also can get argumentative with is peers and gets frustrated easily etc. His teachers tolerate him.  I love him and he is great kid, but he doesn’t seek outside approval at all and I can see why he can be difficult.

They are both growing to be their own people and we all help them do that the best we can. Sometimes that means making sure the one who gets all the positives in school [b]has to do hard and frustrating things too (like play an instrument that isn’t coming naturally[/b]).[/quote]

This hair-shirt quasi-sadism form for parenting shows up a lot on this site.  It doesn't really make sense, when you think about how to raise a child to be a capable, well-adjusted adult.

Sounds like you've read too many parenting books and aren't really thinking about your child and what is best for him.  Creating struggle by forcing a child to do something they don't like to teach grit doesn't work.  How could it possibly?[/quote]

Ha! I probably have read waaaay to many parenting books! ;)

Luckily for him, I’m not forcing my kid to play an instrument. He enjoys it and I think it is the only thing he really has to work at and doesn’t get public rewards in.

Just because you have to work at something doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy it. Maybe you are just putting your own feelings about practice and work into this.[/quote]

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