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[quote=Anonymous]1. My child with an IEP would be praised in absentia at every annual spring IEP meeting, when the teachers, in a surprised tone of voice, would exclaim: "DS is actually very *smart*!"
Well, yes, he's got a high IQ AND severe ADHD and ASD, lady, just like I explained at the start of the year.

2. My other child, who is a high-achieving student with no learning needs, is praised regularly too, but in class, in front of others: her work is held up as an example to follow in various subjects. The teachers don't say much to me. One day I even had a teacher say to me at a conference: "Well, it's Larla. You know your daughter."  Yes, I know she's gifted and well-behaved and quick to finish the work. So I suppose there's nothing to say?

3. I find this very interesting. It's like they think DD can handle being the direct recipient of the praise, but my son, at the same age, due to his IEP, was somehow not considered able to handle a comment such as "despite this taking all of your double time accommodation, I'm impressed your essay is so thoughtful and mature!". Or something of that nature. He's at a selective university now. It might have made a difference in his self-esteem to hear more positive comments. Whereas my daughter knows she's intelligent, and while praise is always pleasant, it doesn't matter as much to her.

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