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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks for this thread. No one understands how it feels. IYKYK. I cared for my best friend, my Mom until she passed away in my arms when I was 29 and a Mom of a toddler. She passed away in my house and I had to move after that. Just when I was recovering, out of left field, my only little brother jumped to his death. This was right before the pandemic. Then, the pandemic hit. That was a special kind of crazy. I had a therapist and I just kind of teetered between automatic and suicide ideation. I finally emerged from the depth of that in 2022. I felt like I came out from underwater and everything was in color again. But, I still suffer sometimes from just heart-wrenching grief. My Dad is the only biological family member left and he travels throughout most of the year so I never see him. I am so lonely it hurts sometimes. Physically hurts. There is no one to care for me, no one to listen to me, no one to relate to or who knows much about my life before marriage. Man, it is rough. Somedays I still think about an end but most days I try and find something positive or go hiking. That and birdwatching has helped.

Alone and in a cocoon. ( Swallows a shot) Next. [/quote]

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