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[quote=Anonymous]I had an experience like this with one of my closest friends.  Their drug use and mental illness finally progressed to the point where the person I knew and loved had pretty much disappeared and been replaced by a demanding, self-centered unpleasant person. Just when I was at the point of telling them the only thing left that I could do for them was help them get into some kind of recovery, they called up and fired me as a friend via a voice message. I decided to let things be as they were rather than reacting or responding. Unfortunately, my friend died before we ever got back in touch.

Charity/friendship doesn’t require us to be a doormat. From what you described, it sounds like your friend has disappeared and been replaced by a difficult person, like mine. If you’re tired of being mistreated, you have to let them know that they’ll be actively welcome in your life once they’re in recovery and taking the measures necessary to get back to being a whole person. Tell them you’ll do whatever you reasonably can to facilitate that, but that right now anything further just isn’t working or going to work.

PP’s are right that your friend is (if in recovery at all) likely in a “dry drunk” status, and the possibility of untreated or inadequately treated mental illness seems likely too. You can’t fix those things. Your friend can’t fix them herself. She needs help from others.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I know it is very painful.

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