Reply to Friend with alcoholism getting sober...and angry

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Friend with alcoholism getting sober...and angry"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Friend and I met twenty years ago; we trained professionally together. She always drank hard but was high functioning for many years. After we turned 40 she slowly began falling apart; was arrested for DUI, multiple failed relationships, an unplanned pregnancy with termination that made her very sad.

Having frank conversations about her drinking has been difficult; she has been defensive and in denial during most of them. But as her friend I was no longer comfortable with what felt like enabling, and have tried to be as honest as I could while being supportive (listening through various ups and downs, suggesting groups/rehab centers, etc). Things came to a head 9 mos ago when she was nearly fired from her job. She lives alone has a hefty mortgage so this shook her.

She seemed to be taking her sobriety more seriously, for which I was glad. But as she has lost the coping mechanism of alcohol, she has become increasingly irritable and unpredictable. We live in different states but used to talk or text frequently; her texts became abrasive, she would often text me multiple times after midnight (like 10-15 texts), or become accusatory if she interpreted something I wrote as a challenge. I became tired of the late night pleas for help followed by the angry accusations (e.g. "Hey I need help", followed by "you're not smarter or better than me"), and told her I needed better boundaries from her. She absolutely lost it. Called me names, used profanity, texted almost non-stop over 36 hours until I finally blocked her.

This is a longtime friend and professional. It felt like being harassed by an abusive ex-boyfriend or similar. I'm just stunned. The worst part is that I think she was sober throughout the whole screed. I've supported her for 2 decades, and now that she's finally drying out, I've become the enemy. I also feel like I've lost our friendship.

To all those who struggle with alcohol abuse in their marriages and families, I really feel for you. This was a terrible experience. I'm mourning the loss of my friend, but I'm able to set boundaries and take space.

Do others have experience with newly sober friends/family like this?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics