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[quote=Anonymous]My husband tends to behave in a vindictive manner as well. When he's upset, he will seek to blame and punish a scapegoat: me or one of his two teens. It can get quite extreme.

As a result, my teens have long abandoned any attempt to get closer to him. They are forced to obey him, but they don't like him. I am their emotional support and the parent they would stay with if we separated.

Regarding your particular situation, my teens interject their opinions in my husband and my business all the time, because we're a rather open-book family, and I respect that they have opinions, even though sometimes their opinions can be hurtful. I actually like that they speak up, OP. I was an extremely sheltered teen and I don't want them to live in a fake bubble of safety.

However the mere fact that you are bringing up divorce, and that this is not the first time, shows how your relationship with your husband is actually very fragile. You have one kid who said she would rather live with her other parent, not you. Red flags abound. When are you going to realize that your punitive mindset has ruined, or is near to ruining, every family bond you have?

My college aged son doesn't return home to visit his father. He returns to talk to his sister and me. I have warned my husband multiple times that this would happen. Please be aware that if you continue with your punitive mindset every time you feel emotionally disturbed, your kids will not want to have a relationship with you as adults.

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