Reply to Is it bad to cry in front of your kid during the divorce process?

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Reply to "Is it bad to cry in front of your kid during the divorce process?"

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[quote=Anonymous]At those ages, I'd say try not to cry in front of them, especially since you haven't told them what's going on. It might scare or unsettle them to see you crying for no apparent reason. They might think you're crying because of something they did. You have to pull it together and stay strong for them.

I say this as someone who witnessed her own mother crying during the divorce. I was 5. I had no idea why my mom was crying and I felt like I had to take care of her because something was clearly wrong. She never spoke about it, so I thought it was something I did. I won't say it traumatized me, but I very clearly remember that moment 40 years later.

This isn't to say that parents can never cry in front of their kids. I've cried in front of my own kids on occasion and I happen to think there's some benefit in kids seeing their parents get upset--provided that the parents are taking the time to explain what's going on and model how to handle it. My mother died a while ago and every so often I still get teary about it. Or I'll read a book or watch a movie and cry a little. When my kids ask what's wrong, I just tell them I'm feeling sad because I miss my mom, or that the movie made me sad. It's all normal, we feel our feelings, but we have to keep living.[/quote]

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