Reply to DH is lazy and does nothing and I am so sick of it!

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Reply to "DH is lazy and does nothing and I am so sick of it!"

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[quote=Anonymous]Sadly, this is true. If you keep bugging him, you will end up with option 1.

Why don't you all eat common food?

Do you have joint $?

Why does he get veto power over hiring handymen?

How does he function otherwise? Do ok at work? Have some long time friends he keeps up with?

For some people it could be adult ADD. Electronics are almost addicting for them. Or he could just be an escaper.

I'd frame the discussion about the house as - can we agree that X, Y and Z need to be done? If so, who should do them? If he says he will, ask him to set a timeframe. Say that you don't want to nag so if he doesn't do it by then you will hire someone.

Re: house stuff, hire a cleaner and a mother's helper a few evenings per week. Automate bills. Hire a dog walker and a service to pick up the poop in the yard. Split the costs of the help if that is how you do $. If he balks, then ask which things he is going to do and how he is going to remind himself since you don't want to nag. Maybe he could set an alarm on his Ipod. But you need to have his agreement on the goals, and he needs to volunteer his level of participation, you then say what happens if he doesn't do it. Like you'd do with a roommate or coworker. He is pulling you into acting like the mean mommy and in my case it was a short slide to no sex, resentment and divorce. Together you have more $ to outsource. I have none and he hasn't gotten less lazy or more responsible.

A friend and her family do things regularly outside of the home together, sometimes with other families where the dad steps up more. She said it really reduces the friction over electronics and when they have fun playing together it seems to make DH more apt to do his share. She also lavishly praises and gives out bjs, her husband has gotten really into housework she claims.  [/quote]

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