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[quote=Anonymous]We do a combination of two things:

1) Natural consequences. I know this is a buzzword but when they present themselves, we seize on it. So if the kids are fighting over screen time, no one gets screen time. If you can't keep your room tidy and put your clothes in the hamper, then I don't wash those clothes and you don't have what you want to wear. And so on. There aren't always obvious natural consequences and you can't force it, but this works well for a lot of the little stuff in a way that really does promote better behavior because the punishment is so closely linked with the behavior. I've literally watched my kids start to make a bad choice, stop and remember the outcome last times, and make a better choice.

2) The kids get small allowances every Friday if they follow a list of house rules. All major misbehavior would violate those house rules, and then they don't get their allowance (nor do they get the outing that accompanies it, as we usually take them to a book store or toy store or bakery where they can spend it if they want). It's a good way to combine positive reinforcement with reactive discipline because when everything is working well, we get to congratulate them on following the rules, being respectful, and just all around being great kids. But if there are issues, it's just kind of built in and it takes the guesswork out of punishments where natural consequences don't make sense -- the kids know what will happen, we know what will happen. It does make those Fridays kind of a bummer, but that's the whole point.[/quote]

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