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LGBTQIA+ Issues and Relationship Discussion
Reply to "Supporting a trans friend through a divorce "
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[quote=Anonymous]Trans woman here. It's incredibly common for a person to identify as straight before transition and end up straight the other way post transition. In some cases this happens as soon as the person comes out but before they start hormones. In my view the people that have this happen were always attracted to people of that gender but had internalized homophobia before switching genders. At that point they viewed themselves as straight and it was easier. Others found their sexuality flip while on cross-sex hormones. In this case I think some people had difficulty differentiating between attraction and envy while others actually did experience a sexuality flip from the hormones though I would guess this is the least common. I've never met anyone that started out gay and ended up gay the other way but I've read (people talking about themselves online) of it happening as well. For people that started out bisexual, they typically end up bisexual. Often with a preference flip. So they might have been bisexual 75/25 one way then after transition that preference is 25/75. Many people's sexuality doesn't change during transition. Some trans people prefer to date other trans people. This includes all varieties such as two trans men, two trans women, and a straight trans couple with a trans man and a trans woman (straight with extra steps :lol: ). This list isn't all inclusive and doesn't include people with nonbinary identities. Many trans people are poly and want to explore their sexuality. Obviously if he went into transition married he should not get divorced just to explore his sexuality. That's a selfish thing to do. If he is legitimately gay the other way or his wife is only a lesbian then those are absolutely valid reasons to end the marriage. A straight person should not stay in a gay marriage with a trans partner. A gay person should not stay in a straight relationship with a trans partner. Those two situations are incredibly common reasons for transition to end a marriage. In some cases the trans person isn't compatible as well (as mentioned in the sexuality flip). That would be a good reason as well. Straight cisgender people get divorced for reasons far more prosaic than this. Like money. People not being compatible after transition is definitely a reason to get a divorce. As a trans person, if I had a trans friend in this situation, I would ask him if he was still attracted to women and if he loves his wife. I'd ask if their relationship is rocky because of his transition and tell him I'll be there for him and support him no matter what happens. But you're a cis woman and while you've just downloaded a bunch of knowledge about trans sexuality changes into your brain, I'd suggest you approach any discussions of this very carefully.[/quote]
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