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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have what I would describe as an unequal relationship with my husband of 20+ years. He has always been the dominant one and has pressured me a lot over the years to agree to things I didn’t want to do. These included buying an expensive house; using an inheritance I received to pay for a home remodel; and now, he is pressuring me bigtime to sell this house and move 1000 miles away.

I do NOT want to move but I’ve gone along with it because he wears me down with his arguing, pleading and guilt-inducing statements. Now we are at the point of getting ready to put the house on the market and I want to vomit. I don’t want to move. I don’t think I even want to spend the next 20 years with him. When I think of a happy future, he’s not in it.

I have to tell him tonight that I don’t want to move, and this is going to lead straight into what’s probably going to become a divorce conversation. I don’t feel ready to tell him this but I am now backed into a corner. I have  no time to find a therapist where I could deliver the news in a neutral setting.

Any advice on how to stand up to him and have this conversation? I’m so anxious I can hardly breathe.[/quote]

Tell him that you need to discuss the move. Then tell him that you do not want to move and have gone along with the planning to avoid a fight, but you don't want to and aren't going to change your mind. If he tries to push the conversation in places you are not comfortable with, it's okay to just keep saying, "I am not ready to have that conversation yet" as long as it takes.

Make a plan for something to do after you tell him. It would probably be best to let him be angry and not take that anger on yourself, but you know your situation. Good luck.[/quote]

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