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Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
Reply to "Child who directs anger at parent"
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[quote=Anonymous]In order to change a behavior, you have to recognize it. When the child is not upset, sit with them and try to get them to reflect on what happened, how they felt when they shifted blame to you, and how it likely made you feel. Then, brainstorm a strategy for them to use to cope when the same kind of thing happens again. The idea is to get to the point where, when the child is ramping up, you can say that this looks like one of those times when you’re getting overwhelmed with feelings and are trying to discharge them onto me, when I have nothing to do with the situation. What can you do instead? This takes a lot of repetition concerning discussing what happened, until they can begin to recognize what they are doing. It’s important that you try to remain calm during these discussions and explain that this is just what their brain defaults to in order to cope, but this can be fixed with time and effort. Be sure to praise any efforts to stop this behavior, and comment positively if you see them take responsibility without shifting blame, no matter how minor the issue. And don’t engage in arguments or explanations while the child is heightened. You leave the room or send them to their room. I know it’s hard. They don’t want to be like this.[/quote]
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