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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How would you feel if as a young adult your child insisted on using a nickname from childhood instead of their actual name that was carefully chosen to honor an ancestor and as a nod to their ethnic heritage? Would you bring it up to them and share that you would prefer they use the name you gave them, or just drop it and let them choose for themselves?

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I'm glad you didn't immediately complain to your child, but there is still a lot to unpack in your message. You seem to be taking their desire to be known as a nickname as almost a rejection of your/their ancestors and ethnic heritage. Thats a heavy thing to put on a kid, adult or no. Of course your kid is going to have a different view on such history than you do--you're separated by a generation and have your own unique perspectives and experiences.

And, given they are a young adult, the reason why they prefer their nickname is honestly none of your business. If you are having trouble accepting that, it's probably more tied to difficulty letting go and losing control as they age. A lot of parents go through the same thing. If its really eating you up, it could be worth talking your feelings out with a therapist so you don't inadvertently make your relationship with your kid more difficult than it needs to be in the years to come.

If, however, you'd like to hear more about why their nickname appeals there is probably a healthy way to do so. [b]But don't [/b]make the conversation about you or your feelings. You're not the star of the show here. Instead, be supportive and simply ask if what appeals most to them about their nickname. It could be a chance to learn more about your kid.

...But seriously, only do this if you can keep your own opinions to yourself![/quote]

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