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[quote=Anonymous]Ds just turned 9 and is going into 4th grade. He’s a good kid, not rambunctious or rude and is into sports, reading and writing and comic books as well as games like Roblox. Last year in 3rd he befriended a boy, I’ll call him David, and they’ve become very close friends. This was ds’s first close boy friendship because he started at this school in first grade in 2020 (so covid homeschool) and in 2nd grade he mostly bonded with the girls in his class (he has older sisters). During the school year our babysitter would usually arrange play dates with his nanny, but they were almost always last minute if ds and David happened to be free after school they would hang out for an hour or so. I did reach out to David’s parents a few times to try to arrange weekend play dates and either got no reply or a vague “that sounds great!” And then nothing further.

David did come to ds’s early birthday party at the end of the school year but they never rsvp’d and I only knew he was coming because David told me when I saw him at school pickup.

All summer when ds has been free and had screen time he and David have been face timing, playing games together and chatting. David is constantly talking about getting together with ds; I’ve asked DS to ask David to have his parents get in touch with me, I also sent them an email about a month ago about getting the boys together for a play date the week before school starts (this week for us), I got another vague reply, “sounds great!” and then nothing when I followed up again with date/time options.

I emailed Tuesday again to see if they could do something and got no reply. Ds and David keep FaceTiming and David is having playdates with other classmates so I guess his parents respond to other people? We live nearby and I’ve offered to host or bring ds to them. The only times I’ve interacted with David’s parents was at David’s bday party last fall where they were hosting and when I went to pick ds up they were having a big adult party at the same time (not with other parents) and were drunk and/or high (I don’t care what people do with their leisure time except they they had a bunch of kids at their house pretty much unsupervised). They otherwise showed up late to most school events (I only know because David would come up to me at every one and ask me to call his mom to make sure she is coming), and didn’t really interact with others.

How would you handle this? I’ve spoke with ds about how we can’t control other people or their responses and he should consider David a school friend and not plan to see him much outside of school, but when he hears about David seeing other kids he is disappointed. Thanks for reading this essay - I know it’s long but I thought there were a fair amount of important details…[/quote]

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