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[quote=Anonymous]Not sure where to put this post, but I would love to hear from anyone who was able to manage climbing out of a precarious financial situation.

My husband had an affair and left me earlier in the summer. I had been a SAHM supporting his career and we balanced smartly on one income: saving for a down payment, modest rainy day savings, retirement investment, college savings plans for our young kids, no debt, and lived within our means while being able to enjoy some small luxuries. While devastated, I agreed it was best to move on swiftly and as amicably as we could for our small children. We each retitled our car in separate names (owned outright), each retained the individual bank accounts we came into the marriage with, and split and closed our joint account. We don't own property or other complex assets so there is nothing else to divide. We agreed he would provide alimony since I had put my career on hold and have been out of the workplace for several years. We came to a value we both agreed to, and he agreed he would also pay half of the costs of childcare and summer camp so I could return to work, as well as continuing to contribute to the 529 plans (I would too). We put the language in our separation agreement and my attorney ported it into the draft divorce agreement.

Our lease ended and we both just moved to smaller rental homes. I have the kids 99% of the time as he travels during the work week. I have been furiously job searching and trying to figure out how to begin to do hybrid work with small kids and as of now no childcare help before/after school. But I knew I would have alimony to help me pay my rent and bills while I figured things out.

This week I was dealt a horrible blow as his lawyer returned the draft and all has been reneged on. No alimony, no help paying for camp or afterschool care or lessons, no set contribution to college savings. Only state ordered child support. His counsel said they would not entertain a counter and would maybe do mediation or force a trial. The state in which we are residents does not auto award alimony (I do not fit the criteria so it is at payor's discretion) so if it goes to trial I would not get anything above child support. I am completely gutted, shocked, and petrified. I have meager savings from when I worked ($100,000) and a neglected IRA with nowhere near the value I could ever begin to retire on. And all of the sudden I have huge expenses from legal fees, and possibly soon from more mediation and trial fees. On top of paying rent, utilities, and if I get work, 100% of childcare costs.

For the first time in my life I will be losing money every month (I am estimating $2000-3000 depending on final childcare costs and of course not including legal fees, have spent $15k in two months) with, for now, no income coming in. My lease is ironclad so moving in with family is not an option (they live across the country too, in a rural area it would be hard for me to find work in). I have already cut back on so much, am selling possessions, cancelled the kids' sports lessons, and this week am consigning my engagement ring and wedding band. I am picking up odd jobs from Facebook to do while the kids are at school and applying to as much as I can. Everything from "real jobs" I used to do as a professional to nanny jobs to retail jobs with mother's hours. I am afraid of draining my meager savings, of going into debt, and of trying to make it work with so much financial instability.

I know this sounds weak and desperate, but has anyone been in a similar situation where you had financial trouble and were able to climb out to better footing? My savings can float us for a short time, and there is always the option of taking out a personal loan or accruing credit card debt, but I am panicked. I also feel completely ashamed. I have been very financially conservative my entire life and now I have nothing to show for it. In a very lame way, I think I just need some internet strangers to tell me it will be ok (or not, I can take that too).

**I am very fragile right now and it took a lot to post this; I kindly ask if you have snark or ridicule to please just scroll by this post**

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