Reply to bar/bat mitzvah etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous]- Gift -- what is an appropriate gift? If she cannot attend, does she need to send a gift? - yes, she should send/give a gift regardless of whether or not she attends. Have class, you know? People here seem to think a $10 giftcard to Starbucks is fine. I do not. If only the child is invited we send them with a check for $72 if not a close friend and $180 if a close friend. We do not give giftcards. This is not an average birthday.

- We are Christian and regularly attend church, so she has plenty of church dresses and some party type dresses. I'm wondering about dresses for these events. What do the kids wear? Girls wear dresses - some wear Converse sneakers and some wear modest heels. Shoulders should be covered. Dress should go down to at least right above knees.

- Is it appropriate for her to skip the temple/service part of the event and only go to the party, or is that frowned upon? How long is the service? (One invite allows for this possibility; one does not). Absolutely not. Do not skip the service - THAT is the bar/bat mitzvah! It would be such a huge slap in the face to only attend the reception. Anywhere from an hour to two hours, depending on the temple. She can ask the kid.

- We, the parents, are not invited, which is fine. So I'm assuming my kid will just call me at the end of the night and tell me when to pick her up. Invite says nothing about this... - she can ask the kid when it ends and tell you, so you know what time to pick up. Ideally she knows some other kids going so you can get a carpool going. [/quote]

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