Reply to Friendship issue and who pays: how to handle?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the poster who had the idea. Also just occurred to me to mention, in the future, [b]don't make a gift that requires someone to spend money[/b] (regardless of financial situations of all involved). [/quote]

As a poor person, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I can't tell you how many times I had to decline gifts relatives tried to give me that involved things like, a commute I couldn't afford before they finally got the picture. Ugh, it was awful. [/quote]

I am with you but this is such a tricky line. I think instead I would say that if you are going to gift someone something that requires them to travel, spend money, or take time off work, you need to be very ready for them to say they can't accept it and know how to handle that situation.

I've been in situations where someone gifted me tickets to something that I couldn't afford to use, and then when I turned them down, they gave me a guilt trip. This is the crappiest of all possible situations because of course I'd love to accept that gift, but I literally can't afford the plane ticket/hotel/time off involved, and now I feel like either way I'm letting someone down. Please do not put your friends in a situations of feeling bad that they don't have enough money to accept your gift. They already feel bad they can't accept it! Don't make it worse.[/quote]

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