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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I don't know what I want, but I do know that DH does not want me to stay home and thinks I won't be happy doing so. Part of why I used to love my job was because every single day and project was very different. I also have a 1 year old baby, so I could end up even more stressed as a SAHM than WFH.[/quote]

A 1-year old and a 4-year old are definitely more stressful than most WFH jobs with a full-time nanny.

But also potentially more rewarding if you are bored with your job.

A lot of people told me they thought I'd be bored as a SAHM when I became one (similar aged kids) because I have an advanced degree and had a fairly demanding job with a lot of challenges and responsibility. I think it can depend on your disposition, but I was not bored. I was one of those SAHMs who does a lot of research on child development. I'm also the kind of person who likes learning everything there is to know about a new thing every other week. As a SAHM, this topic could be "picky eating and how to address it" but it could also be "the planetary system" as something for my preschooler and I to explore together. I also got really into art, polished off my rusty Spanish (on my own and also just talking to nannies at the playground -- great practice), read a ton of classic Children's literature, and visited a lot of museums and gardens (and learned about a lot of art and plants alongside my kids). There was really no reason to be bored.

I think people get bored as a SAHP when they are used to being very externally motivated. So people who are very motivated by deadlines, competition with colleagues, fear of disappointing the boss or client, etc. As a SAHM, you don't really have a ton of external motivation except your kids letting you know when they are hungry and tired (but you get good at it and that doesn't happen so often). I'm someone who is very good at internally motivated, figuring out what I love about a role and digging in, coming up with my own projects and structuring my own schedule in a way that works for me. So being a SAHM was really great for me.

It also became the precursor for me staring my own business when my kids started school, because I had discovered that I was pretty good at being my own boss. Not sure I would have done that were it not for the my time as a SAHM. Personally, it was a huge growth period for me and I think I'm smarter and better at my job than I was before. Just my two cents.[/quote]

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