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[quote=Anonymous]Agree you should not base this decision on what your 4 yo says she wants right now. Not because her needs don't matter, but because what she says she wants is just a sliver of what she actually needs at this age, and your job is to step back and look at the big picture.

One thing about being a SAHM to this age is that they are really outgrowing that cuddly baby phase. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are lots of cuddles. But there are also meltdowns and, perhaps more difficult, a lot of assertions of independence. You really have to roll with it. It's all normal and healthy, but if you are envisioning SAHMing with a child this age as being just cuddly and easy with lots of bonding time, I would also consider that this is the age where your really have to figure out discipline, limits, and really start teaching your child how to regulate emotions and manage tough feelings like disappointment, jealousy, anger, etc. It is not cake. It's work.

No one has ever put me through my paces quite like my 4 yo when I was at home with her. And she's a sweet, loving kid and we have a good relationship. But she worked me over! There were absolutely days when I thought that it would be better for me, personally, if a professional was dealing with some of those challenges and I was back at work. I don't regret staying home, but when you are in the middle of it, it's not this blissful domestic scene. Be ready for that.[/quote]

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