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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I came to the harsh realization [b]that nothing we do is going to fundamentally change the outcome of my kid’s life[/b]. It was actually freeing because I could stop thinking that if I had just tried this parenting technique or that therapy when he was younger, things would be totally different.

I stopped therapy that didn’t seem to be helping. I also stopped looking at research- none of it could realistically be implemented by me anyway. And I let a lot of small things slide (like if I think it will cause a meltdown at bedtime, I won’t force brushing of teeth.)

It’s still hard and time consuming, but I try hard not to let it be all-consuming. It’s not good for anyone in your family, if life revolves around one kid’s special needs. (And it’s so easy to let that happen because by necessity they dictate so much, but whenever there is some flexibility, I take it.)

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This. To my knowledge, there is a not a single therapy that has been subjected to a legitimately reliably study showing broad effectiveness, double blind, large enough trial group, long term outcome, etc.  Lots of therapy studies of a few hundred kids, no blindness, no real objective measurement, etc. The people pushing therapies have a vested interest in pushing them.  Not to say those people aren't genuinely interested in helping kids. But there's zero objectivity.

I really focus on homework, because I'm still hopefully my 2E "AuDHD" kid can get into a pretty good college.  The rest?  I stopped sweating it a long time ago.  I focus lots on myself, and I derive a ton of pleasure from my very busy work.  I also derive a ton of pleasure from hanging with DH and DS. DS is stressed being around other people and kids, so the thing we've probably been most disappointed to give up is a more robust social life.  But it was just too stressful for too many years to have him around other people. Versus at home just us, he's a (nerdy, quirky) pleasure. Now that he's a teen, mom and dad's social life is coming back.  [/quote]

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