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[quote=Anonymous]It’s probably both.

In the beginning of my marriage, H made more than me. This was made possible by three things: my job benefits, my job flexibility and my parent’s gifts (probably $80k over 20 years plus housing during school). He has also admittedly taken a back seat in his career and his salary has decreased, while mine went way up (80% increase in 6 years). Note: this sounds like a lot but our HHI is $300k, which is great but not insanely high.

I stand to inherit millions, even under the worst case scenario - my parents are rigid and conservative with their money -  and my mom is in very good health. Best case I expect to inherit the money in my late 60s at the earliest. We save like that won’t happen to be safe, which he thinks is overkill. But also under the worst case scenario, we will financially support his mother and likely brother (and already pay for certain expenses).

He told me he wants to reallocate his inheritance (already commingled to pay for certain house upgrades he wanted and to bulk up our emergency fund for his job) to a fund for himself so he can go travel with his friends. Please note that we do not travel together yet, because we are just getting to the point where that is really possible. We do family vacations, and I hope with decreased expenses and my increased income, we can travel in the next 1-2 years.

So basically with my next promotion, he wants me to start paying him back for his inheritance. All $45k. He said that  although I intend to use any inheritance to our future benefit, the accounts are in my name until the funds are allocated for a mutual benefit, he sees no benefit. (Side note: my parents are also allocating $200k directly to my husband).

I am frustrated. I don’t think he sees the full financial picture. I am aggravated that after decreasing his salary by 40% and admittedly taking an easier path, I have to pay him back. I am also frustrated that he fails to see everything my family has already given or how much his mom/brother cost us. If I try to discuss these things he shuts down.

So keeping this on the money side, is he right? Should I pay back that $45k to an account in his name? [/quote]

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