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[quote=Anonymous]I think I'm a little further along than most of you. My oldest with ADHD/anxiety is now in his 3rd year of college.  I can definitely relate to the struggle to glean if things will get better and the worry about life outcomes.  It sounds like 06:55 and 09:33 and I have similar approaches.  I really focused on helping my DS develop emotional intelligence and the skills he'd need to be successful in life and relationships.  It was, at times, excruciatingly difficult and pushed me to the edge of insanity.  Given my tragic family history, though, I was incredibly motivated (fear isn't always bad) to help keep my kid on the right path.

I gave/continue to give my DS clear guidance on the impact of his behavior.  My DH (his father) also has ADHD/anxiety/depression and as DS has gotten older, he's seen his behaviors reflected in his dad.  He's gotten really good at identifying them and giving his own feed back - usually in the way I've given it to him.  It's amazing!  He's also now showing the behaviors we needed to see for him to go away to college.  He's been in community college for 2 years (can't say enough good things about it) because we had no reason to think he would, independently, do what he needed to do to be successful (I highly recommend having this conversation multiple times starting in MS).  We didn't push college because we no there are many paths to success.  He chose to go.  It was then that he started to learn the skills/behaviors he needed to be successful - things most kids learn in HS.

So, yeah, it can get better but you need to have the marathon mindset and resiliency.  Even as young adults, things that are intuitively learned by others are not intuitive for many with ADHD. Be vigilent about mental health and make sure your kids know how important it is.  Build trust so that when they're struggling, they feel like they can reach out to you. Finally, boundaries are your friends - and not just for your ILs!  Boundaries and structure are excellent for everyone no matter their age but are critical to the success of people with ADHD. Yes, it gets better but challenges remain.  Hugs. [/quote]

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