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[quote=Anonymous]You need to be a better parent and when your arsehole spouse abandons you like this, step up and take that opportunity to offer something special for your children. Unless they're very tired and just need a little food and bedtime, of course. You do not transfer to your children the burden of your husband's childish tantrum.

Sadly I've got some experience with this. My husband has high-functioning autism, and whenever he's out of his routine, feels anxious and is liable to become angry at the smallest thing. It's led to some really, really bad vacation travel, since by definition those are a total change in routine. The last one was during my son's move-in day to college - also a change in routine that led to anger because that's how he absorbs stress.

So you've got to understand this is how your husband's mind works. You've got to point it out to him. HE needs the therapy, not anyone else. He needs anger management. He is not a good husband or parent when he verbally abuses his kids like this and decides he can just stop parenting for a bit and leave you to clean up the emotional mess. You've got to verbalize all this to him and put the blame squarely on his shoulders. You might not change him much, but he needs to know he's in the wrong, and that there are consequences to his tirades. The first one is that you express your displeasure. The second is that you don't lift a finger for him until he apologizes. The third one is that you live a happy life without him: with friends, with your kids, so that you don't feel like he's a miserable millstone around your neck.

Finally, despite the hurt feelings, you still have to be the best parent you can be for your kids in that moment. Just because he's crappy, you can't drop the rope. It's more work for you, but your kids are the innocent victims here and do not deserve to go hungry or to believe they did something very wrong (eating crackers is a minor infraction). That means working on your emotional strength. Next time he does this, go out to a fun place with your kids for dinner. Go to the movies without him the next day. Buy something nice for yourself. Get a babysitter and go out with girlfriends for dinner. Make him see what he's missing being a jerk.

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