Reply to Husband refuses to give me a hug when i’m sad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here - thanks - I just know that this type of higs/ support was not modeled for him as a child in his family, which gives me empathy for him.

I think that DH likes things to revolve around him, and feels threatened when I express emotion about me, if that makes sense. He has gotten angry about “big” things like sadness when i mourned a parent, or when I had a miscarriage - with anger like “its not all about you.”  I realize that is unhealthy, but he is on some level incapable of empathy toward me when I am sad.  I am generally upbeat/bubbly, and it is mostly not an issue.  But i am also human. There are moments when i reach my limit - snd lack of childcare this summer stretched my limit in terms of exhaustion, working full time, while taking care of kida while DH has his job/works longer hours than me.  It is exhausting, i am eager for school to start…. Kind of tears of “almost there” but just needed a hug. I feel like stupid for forgetting he can’t do this, and it is with this sort of small thing that i am sometimes cought off guard. Am i the crazy one for expecting a hug?  Why does this make me anxious? Etc

I rarely confide in him, now, because it makes things worse…… [/quote]

Honestly op your childhood failed you as well. You break down over minor adult shit and have chosen a spouse who is lacking in empathy for important stuff ( parental death) it also seems you expect coddling. You need therapy. Your DH probably does too but you can only fix yourself [/quote]

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