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[quote=Anonymous]I've lived a life with little turmoil and few hardships.  We've been married 35 years and raised 3 children.  Yes, we've had sadness, death, infidelity, cancer scares - but I think my personality is just trust God, get through it and deal with whatever comes.  Then, looking back, I forget how sad or scared we were during the situation and just remember it as something we gotten through.  I would say my faith has been strong, I trust God has a plan and we go along willingly.

Right now we're facing something that feels like the scariest thing we've ever faced - a newborn grandchild with a physical condition requiring multiple surgeries, along with the possibility of serious lifelong mental and physical handicaps.  While we await some testing, my head is swimming with thoughts about how bleak the future could be for our grandchild, and how difficult the road will be for my own child. I'm overcome with negativity and I'm shocked by how little faith I must have.

The past couple of sermons have been about our relationship with God, our natural inclination to question the Truth and how we must have faith.  It seems like God is sending me a message to believe and have faith, but I can't figure out what I'm supposed to have faith in.  I prayed and prayed for the baby to be healed in-utero, and it wasn't.  I'm praying now for testing to show things aren't as serious as they seem.  My mind can't quit thinking the worst, though.  And I know there are millions of babies affected by many diseases and parents who've lost children and disabled people who have lived hard lives - and it's not because they didn't "have faith" - so chances are my grandchild could face the same even with prayer. So this logical side of me wonders what is it I'm supposed to have faith in?  If I understand many people are never healed, why should I believe my grandchild will be?  And with this understanding, do I lack faith by believing God may decide not to heal him?

Or is the faith part of it just knowing, regardless of the results, we will get through?

This whole situation is making me wonder now, have I had faith as I'd thought for the past 50 years, or was I just never tested with anything so hard.  When someone says you must have faith about a hard situation, what is it that we should trust will happen?  I hope this makes sense.[/quote]

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