Reply to S/o how to ensure I’m not a burden on my kids as I age

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "S/o how to ensure I’m not a burden on my kids as I age"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The most helpful thing my mom has done is being transparent with her assets.  We have a spreadsheet, I have account numbers, usernames and passwords. I know where everything is and who to contact if needed.

And I agree that I refuse to burden my children with constant need for attention when I’m older.  I’ve been doing the obligatory twice a week visits with my mom for almost a year.  It’s a lot.  And it’s constant guilt tripping that I’m not there enough.

One thing I would have done differently- not required two independent doctors to certify she is unable to handle her affairs.  She trusts me and it was a little hassle to get have to reach out to two doctors for the letters I needed for a POA.

[/quote]

PP, I was curious about your second point: feeling guilt-tripped into spending time with your mom. I hear this sentiment in one form or another frequently on this forum. Is it that you don't have a good relationship with your mom or that she complains that you don't see her enough or what? What would be the ideal frequency to visit with her in your mind? I admit that I too sometimes felt that spending time with my aging parents was a chore, but I also wonder how this could be reframed in our minds or handled differently as we age ourselves. The reality is that people in their 80s are probably not going to have too many friends or social contacts left (many have died or can't manage visits) and we--the offspring--literally may be the only people they see all week. We may find ourselves in this situation as well one day (God help us). I also realize that people are living way too long these days, so these tensions can last for decades. I don't know what the answer is to this, but I am open to hearing from others how to deal with it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics