Reply to Husband is hesitant to have kids and I don't know what to do

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband is hesitant to have kids and I don't know what to do"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My husband and I have been married for 2 years and we’re both in our very early 30s. We have talked about having kids in the general “we both want them but we’re so young so we’ll plan it more specifically when we’re in our 30s” way since we started dating 6 years ago. I brought it up to him again a few weeks ago hoping to start a more specific conversation about timeline. I’ll be 32 next year and think we should start trying around then but wanted to know what he’s thinking.

He shared a lot of vulnerable thoughts with me in response. I’m grateful he did. He shared how he’s scared of how much it will change our lives (it will), how much he loves our life in DC as it is, how hard it would be to do it here without either of our families, how hard it would also be to move to one of our hometown areas and leave the other one even farther from their family. I feel a lot of those things too, but I’ve known I wanted to be a mom my whole life. I’m confident that we can do this together and that it is what I want.

We had another conversation in follow up and it’s become clear that he isn’t sure he even wants to have kids. He isn’t a definite “no” but he is very hesitant. I’m devastated by this.

I figured that if we tried to have a child and it didn’t work for whatever biological reason, then I would mourn that and eventually find peace with it. But the prospect that I don’t even get to try to make my dream a reality is just…heartbreaking.

I can’t and won’t try to convince him. I know that children should be totally wanted by both parents. And I’d probably make myself insane if I did “convince” him - I know I’d burn myself out taking on more of the work and essentially performing so as to convince him parenthood isn’t as bad as he feared.

I don’t know what I’m asking of DCUM here. I love him desperately and I’m just so sad. Has anyone been through this? How do I not grow to resent him? Do I try to convince him? Can I be happy?
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics