Reply to Friend who doesn't need to work saying how lucky she is to have work-life balance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am in an extraordinarily high-stress period at work. I love what I do, but ... it's just a lot, and sometimes I really feel at the end of my rope. Moreover, I do need to work. We couldn't get by on one income alone.
I have a friend who lives nearby who texts both myself and another pal about how leisurely and better-balanced her life is now that she quit her job and does volunteer work at an art gallery (think Charlotte York from SATC but more earthy crunchy). She is a lovely person, but she's often texting photos of her book from the cafe she's at or flowers from a walk - which I'm seeing at the end of a long day staring at a screen, and I can't help but feel...bitter or something. 
She has said over drinks that she had no choice but to stop working after she found herself snapping at her kids too much. I mean, OK, but...a lot of people have to work and snap at their kids and just suck it up, or still work and try not to snap...it's just sort of this blind spot. And now it's getting bad because the other friend is side-texting me about how out of touch she is. I think it's beginning to kind of erode our friendship. She'll text asking to meet for lunch and we can't (we do work from home so maybe it's reasonable she thinks we can steal off but it's not easy)...things like that. It's just like this weird GAP. And she talks about staying home and how NECESSARY it is... a lot. It's hard not to feel kind of odd about it all, like...not everyone can do this?? Ugh Sorry I am just ... venting here.[/quote]

I can see why your friend’s tone deaf gestures of friendship might be bothering you - but I would gently clue her in while letting her know that you value her friendship.

I would try to avoid unnecessary mummy wars dynamics. Most of us are doing our best as mothers and face different challenges. This phase of life won’t last for ever and you may eventually enjoy her company on walks or at art galleries/ creative ventures or spiritual quests or whatever you choose when you eventually have more time.

Plus parenting can be really challenging especially as kids/ tweens get older and it is good to have supportive friends with more time on their hands.

I personally have close friends who are both SAHMs and highly accomplished career women, and they have all been amazing supports for me during a very difficult period. I treasure all of them.

It helps  to clearly communicate our needs and boundaries in gentle or humorous ways.

Good luck navigating the friendship mine fields.  [/quote]

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