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[quote=Anonymous]OP you are not to blame. I'm in a similar situation. Mom has lived here for decades but is from another country and has never been on board with the American way of medicine.

She doesn't believe in preventive medicine. She fights tooth and nail against testing, medication, etc. Where she comes from, there aren't long hospital stays and lots of interventions. People get sick and pass away and you don't really know why.

I used to think a proactive approach was the right thing. But my father was always on top of his medical care. His outcomes are worse. I can't say he is doing better because he aggressively treated high cholesterol, etc.

At some point, most of our seniors will face a health crisis. It's not your fault when it happens. You cannot stop death and disease, especially something like vascular dementia.

Take care of yourself, it sounds like you took the best care of her you could while also respecting her wishes. If we spend all our time arguing with our parents, we can't enjoy the time we have left with them. [/quote]

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