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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also discuss things before marriage to make sure both are on same page, not everyone want to be a SAHP or breadwinner or want other person to suddenly announce that they are quitting work or putting kids in daycare to go work outside. Only marry a person whose values align with you.[/quote]

And if you have a sahm wife, do you expect her to eventually go back to work and have a plan for that? Or not to go back? It isn’t the little kid years that often cause tension because the couple doesn’t agree, it’s what happens afterward. [/quote]

DH here.  It’s what she wants.  Only thing I don’t want is her to get a job that has long hours and long commute and low pay (like working at some nonprofit downtown for ideological reasons) since that would be hard on the family.

I think she wants something part time (basically unambiguously mommy track) and that’s fine.

We don’t really need more $$ though I wouldn’t turn it down.

Only way this approach works on a super expensive area like DC is the working spouse needs to do really well.  And some moderate budgeting helps, we  have a more low key life than “power couples” but also less stressful.

Both of us came from families with this setup so we were on the same page from the start.[/quote]

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