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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]His behavior is trying to communicate something to you. Right now, you need to focus on understanding what it is driving the behavior? Is he bored? Is he tired? Does he lack impulse control? Is he upset about something going on in his life and taking it out on you? Has he never been told no? What is his behavior trying to tell you?

Once you figure that out, then you need to teach the skills that are lacking. Help him understand what are acceptable ways to act when he is experiencing whatever drove the behavior. Focus on teaching before you go to punishment. Consequences are only helpful if the child knows the rules and has the skills to manage the situation.

That behavior screams that he trying to tell you something. Wait until things are calm to ask questions and get his understanding of how he was feeling and why he did it. Then you can talk and teach what he should do the next time he experiences those feelings.

[/quote]

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Just about to write this ^^

Your approach is all wrong Op.

And you're not dealing with the triggers that cause his behavior.

Also, his hate-talk ("I hope you die"/I hate you") isn't personal. It's the tip of the iceberg in his huge bubble of emotion that's about to pop. 
Think about it, do you literally mean it when you say say swear words or go off on a mean tirade? No. And neither does your kid.

It's just in that heat of the moment he's struggling to find something to say  a release, a "justification", a way to handle this overwhelming anger and injustice (injustice to him)[/quote]

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