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Eldercare
Reply to "Widowed mom with dementia, living across the country"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No no no no. The only solution is institutional care, ie a nursing home or memory care unit. Look for something that has progressive care, since she'll need more supervision as time goes on. If she's indigent, then look for medicaid homes. None of you can take adequate care of her, I hope you realize that. By the time my grandfather got lost on everything but the most familiar walks, it was time for him to go to a home - my grandmother could not care for him. She couldn't run across town looking for him, or deal with his anxiety and anger issues stemming from the dementia. [/quote] This. It gets worse and worse and with a fall, health event of family stressor the decline can be at record speed. Also, she may not like it, but her brain needs social connection with people other than family. It can be way to easy to be difficult and ornery with family. With strangers you are forced to exercise social skills and that is crucial. Some may be offended by this comparison, but think about your toddler who didn't want to go to preschool or daycare and just wanted to be with you all day even if you had to work. Then think about how much better off your toddler was having activities and social interactions with peers while adults kept them relatively safe. Yes, they teachers missed plenty and your toddler got bonked in the head, bitten and shoved, but under your care your tot had plenty of split second accidents when you turned your head to sneeze or answer the door. Think about how much more cheerful and pleasant YOU could be for your toddler because you weren't with the tot every second. Could you have chosen to leave your tot at home with no caregiver or with a caregiver who just showed up a few hours a day and then left her to her own devices? Some will say, no don't torture the elderly with this evil residential places, but many of us have chimed in to say our parents did better there once they adjusted and it made for much better visits where you could just savor the time and not be burned out and resentful.[/quote]
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