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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd rather live with my daughter and family over assisted living.

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Would you rather live with two flaky unemployed people who are trying to CONSUME your estate, and be really far from medical care, so that if you have a stroke the impairment will be worse than it could have been?[/quote]

In our experience, both our father-in-law and mother-in-law had memory issues/dementia.  We'd host them at our house for 2 weeks at a time when our kids were in elementary and middle school.  It was challenging, and they were lovely people when they were competent.  Father-in-law would pee on the stairs, have accidents on the couch, they leave the gas burner on for hours when making tea, microwave bread to make toast that smokes up the house, they just walk out of the house not knowing where they are and we had to call the police to locate them.  Mother-in-law would pack her bags every day expecting to go home, and cried when we explained she was to be here for X more days - every single day.  And when we would drop in on them at their home via Alexa, they would complain they never go anywhere anymore.  She would panic and tell me there is a strange man yelling at her - which was her husband of 50 years, but she would never wear her hearing aids, and he had to yell for her to hear him and did not recognize him.  We were always going to be fine with having the mother-in-law move in with us, but dementia changed that and added too much stress and concern to our functioning family.

They had lived in the middle of nowhere with the closest family one hour away and there were no restaurant deliveries - Hello Fresh or some equivalent was the only way to get prepared meals to them on a regular basis.  We finally got a live-in assistant for them for a year which helped, but then we moved them to assisted care a mile from us (on their dime) which made life easier for everyone.

Aging in place is a very selfish act when you do not live close to family or basic amenities.  Power outages, falls on the ground, nose-bleeds all need someone there to help, and it is stressful on families who are not close and cannot easily help.  It has definitely changed the way I look at my life as I get older.  I vote they go to assisted living close to you two.[/quote]

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