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[quote=Anonymous]The question here is:

Why does your husband wish to keep the peace if it means endangering his parents' wellbeing and guaranteeing that their final years lack appropriate care that SIL cannot provide?

My husband has 2 brothers, and all three of them care for their mother with Parkinson's (and previously their late father with bipolar disorder). There have been times when they've raised their voices to each other, and spoken some hard truths - because they each want the best for their parents, and felt their solution was better than their siblings'. It doesn't hurt their relationship in the least. It clears the air, and puts everyone on the same page. One of them is not a good communicator, one of them is very busy and can't always be reached on the phone, and my husband, who manages finances, can be reluctant to dole out money for expenses. So they all have their flaws, but together they make sure their mother wants for nothing and has proper medical care.

Your husband needs to confront his sister. He needs to be crystal clear with his parents about the medical risks of living with their daughter. He can even put into words the fear that this is only an invitation to suck money out of them. One of my BILs has leveled all sorts of accusations against my husband, in times of stress. They still love each other dearly, and at the end of the day, they're on the same side. Your SIL may not benefit from that level of trust, but before your parents make a life-changing move, I feel it's important to level with everyone, regardless of hurt feelings.
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