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[quote=Anonymous]I’m looking for practical advice here, not just complaining.

I often encounter fellow parents who are intensely competitive about stuff like academic development (“oh Clara isn’t reading chapter books yet? Henry was reasoning Harry Potter by the time he started first grade, so funny”), activities (“oh we started Maggie in swim at 3 because if they can’t do three strokes by 6, they’ll probably never make club swim”), and a variety of other things.

Setting aside the underlying parenting choices, I find the competitive conversation exhausting. My instinct is to try and find a point of connection, but this doesn’t work with competitive people because they view it as a challenge (“oh Jane does ballet? Margot is interested in starting— what studio do you go to” gets you  “well I’ll give you the name but I don’t think they take 8 yr olds as new students, maybe try parks and rec for less serious classes”). I don’t want to engage in a back and forth of comparing and topping.

So what strategies do you use for diffusing these parents? Just say nothing at all? Feels rude but I’m willing to try. I just need some strategies for getting through neighborhood bbq’s, school events, and kid’s parties without tearing my hair out.[/quote]

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