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[quote=Anonymous]My parents had this situation- my father was 10 years older, and had dementia and COPD.

They moved into a continuing care community - same apartment at first with him in “assisted” living with addiction assistance and her as “independent” (which was less expensive).

That worked for about a year, then he moved into memory care because it was too much for my mom.

He passed away about 5 months later.

I’d encourage you to get into a CCR as soon as you can.  If the disabilities are “just” physical- then same space with help.  It’ll age you extremely quickly if you are solely responsible for his care.

If he has dementia, consider moving him into memory care at some point.

Not only does it seem more compassionate if you move with him, if you can get comfortable and settled into a community, it’ll be easier for you - in addition to the obvious support provided by the employee, there will be support from women in similar situations to you.

It sucks, OP, and I’m sorry. My husband is 12 years older and I anticipate this being an issue in the future.

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